Lone Strawberry (enigmatism) wrote,
Lone Strawberry
enigmatism

  • Mood:

you say i'm not ok. you say you're ok.

Lack of Love/Closeness is Making Me Crazy

+ If I get depressed then people don't like me and they don't want me around. Just when I need them most.
+ If I get depressed then people don't like me then I don't get love/closeness then I get depressed.
+ This is very different from other times, its way more serious, there is way less solutions. Way more serious.
+ If I bitch about anything people say I am wrong for doing so
+ If I bitch about doing things for people they say I'm wrong or don't do them.
+ If I don't do them I suffer because things aren't done.
+ If I don't do them I miss out on the enjoyment of doing them and accomplishing and seeing accomplishment.
+ If I do things for people they say I am wrong or wasting my time
+ If I stand up for "my time" or "my thing" then people get hurt/angry/blame-me/say "I never get..."
+ If I don't stand up for my time, then they say I'm wrong.
+ If I cook/clean/etc they say I am spoiling them
+ If I don't cook/clean/etc people bitch about cleanliness/ants/toilets stopped up/etc, or they waste food and money.
+ If I say what the problem is, I accused of guilt tripping people.
+ If I don't say what the problem is, I'm not being honest
+ People say "go do it", but I don't know how, and no one will give up their precious time to give me tips/lessons.
+ I am so scared that even if things start to happen, it probably will not work anyway.
+ If I talk about my poor existence, then "its trying to make people feel sorry for me."
+ If I don't talk about my pathetic existence, then I'm keeping it all inside and/or not seeking help.
+ If I admit to problems, I am labeled as crazy or schizophrenic. So says the pot to the kettle.
+ I don't know when I'm doing wrong, and no one is offering suggestions.
+ People spend so much time complaining about me behind my back that of course they don't have time to talk to me about it.
+ I HATE everyone normal
+ I'm giving up trying because everyone by example says "It's better not to care!"
+ I'm wrong for going against the grain and expecting something from people. Yet...
+ It's OK for people to be a dick to me, but not OK for me to be a dick to them.
+ It's OK for people to discuss my motives for doing things with me not in the room, but not OK for people to ask me for confirmation.
+ It's OK for people to analyze Eric and say what he's doing wrong, but it's not ok for Eric to ever criticize others and say what they are doing wrong.
+ WHY CAN'T I ACCEPT THAT LIFE IS NOT FAIR and EVERYONE ELSE GETS WHAT I WANT.
+ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU ALL AND NOT CARE.
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